A man from Essex has instigated legal proceedings in the High Court to be given the right to self-identify as Prince Harry so that he can have a go at Meghan Markle.

Nathaniel Fuch-Weet’s lawyer told senior judges yesterday that their client feels that the Duchess Of Sussex is ‘fit as.’

Miles Siyuenti QC added, ‘My client is entitled to self-determine his identity in line with current human rights legislation, meaning that he must be given the opportunity to define himself as Prince Harry.’

‘As it is clear that the traditional romantic route would probably be fruitless in these circumstances, he has been left with no other option.’

‘As a backup option, if it would please the court, my client would also like the possibility of self-identifying as whoever Kelly Brook is shacked up with.’