A spokesperson for O2 has confirmed that now would be the perfect time to call any of your friends and family who are on their network ‘c*nts’ as they probably won’t see it.

He said, ‘We have organised this special social media c*nt amnesty to give Britain an amazing opportunity to tell them how they really feel about them.’

‘Naturally we can’t take any responsibility for those who have WiFi.’

One O2 customer said that she hasn’t been able to give herself dog ears and a silly nose since breakfast.

Michelle Garridge added, ‘I’m fuming. See you in The Hague.’