The first convoy of UN emergency aid trucks carrying approximately 500 tonnes of raw Facebook have arrived in the UK for O2 customers.

An appeal by the Disaster Emergencies Committee has already raised more than £500,000, with millions more pledged if Bono doesn’t record a charity single.

The UN’s disaster relief commissioner Jerome Robsonne said, ‘All aid work in Syria has been suspended at this time of great crisis.’

‘Efforts are now solely concentrated on the improverished United Kingdom – we are already getting reports of members of the public having to phone each other or even meet in person to communicate.’

Experts are currently trying to find the source of the network outage, with many Facebook users on other networks circulating a image of Jeremy Corbyn meeting Gerry Adams and somehow linking it all together somehow.