We’ve already discovered that 2018 is the year of the perma-offended mega-snowflake, so why the fuck is it suddenly OK to watch a load of blokes take their clothes off while the slightest sign of some boob sends everyone into meltdown.

Strip joints are seedy, but this is fine?

When the Magic Mike Live cast were on This Morning earlier today, you could almost taste the sudden surge of oestrogen across the United Kingdom.

But if I dare flick over to Babestation and knock one out after my wife goes to bed, I’M the pervert?

There must be a heap of Formula One pit girls who are now collectively screaming ‘What The Actual Fuck Is Going On?’

If Philip Schofield and Backup Holly don’t have Kelly Brook, Melinda Messenger and Vogue off Gladiators wrestling in baked beans pronto I’m taking ITV to The Hague.