A spokesperson for O2 has confirmed that any customer who was unable to add stupid bunny ears to their selfies on Thursday because of the network data outage will receive millions of pounds in compensation for the emotional distress that was caused.
Michelle Garridge is an O2 customer from Southend in Essex, and she told us that she is already receiving counselling.
She said, ‘Because I was unable to get on Snapchat, I ended up taking a selfie that actually beared some sort of resemblance to what I actually look like.’
‘No animal ears, no wanky big eyes, no three-foot tongue. Nothing.’
‘Even when I did manage to take a half-decent photo, I didn’t have any way of sticking it online with a caption like, ‘Jus pure chills innit oxoxoxoxoxox’ so the whole act was ultimately futile anyway.’
In a worrying development, there were reports of women in Basildon storming into a branch of Pets At Home and putting actual animals on their heads before taking selfies as an interim measure.