Category: Satire

There have been calls for a global boycott of Cadbury chocolate products today after it emerged that the manufacturer’s chocolate Santa range doesn’t feature the word ‘Christmas’ anywhere on the packaging.  Facebook user Nigel Fuch-Weet said: ‘It’s a disgusting disgrace. Cadbury chocolate is Halal-friendly and Kosher as well, but last I heard you don’t use […]

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A 23-year-old girl from Southend posed with an incredibly hungry homeless man for twelve minutes before handing over a sandwich earlier this evening. Shortly after 7.30pm, clothing store assistant Michelle Garridge spotted the rough sleeper sitting on the pavement outside the boarded-up post office, and this allegedly ‘moved her deeply’ and prompted her to walk […]

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A spokesperson for Channel 4 has confirmed that the Labour politician Diane Abbott will replace Rachel Riley as the show’s presenting assistant from early 2019, provided that Labour do not win a General Election in the meantime.  According to her secretary, the role has been arranged as Ms Abbott is keen to have a ‘back […]

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A young mum has been telling us about her ‘terrifying ordeal’ after her baby was taken into care over an ‘inappropriate name.’ According to Chloe Shpurnham from Central Southend, officials arrived at her home with police officers when her son Keith was just three days old.’ ‘The infant was removed under the terms of a […]

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A 34-year-old man from Southend has admitted that he is OUTRAGED after spotting a sign outside The Jim Davidson Hospital in Benfleet that ‘discouraged him’ from going inside as he feels that it is racist and discriminatory. Derek Malcolm, whose grandparents settled in the UK in 1959 after coming over from the West Indies, believes […]

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